One Big Barrier Sign

Have you ever been blocked from doing something?

I have dreams where this happens a lot. You know what you want to do, and it’s very possible, but I can’t actually get there. Usually it’s because I am really slow, or the ocean is stealing my possessions. I’m sure both of these scenarios say something about me.

But this last month it has been in real life. I couldn’t possibly explain extent of things that have kept me from the studio of late, and they are becoming increasingly serious. What started with a crazy busy calendar built to (in the last few days) both an aggressive cancer and a stroke in my immediate family. High stakes.

I never thought that I would ever reach the point where the music was the easy bit. But I tell you, it’s way easier working in that chair than it is trying to sit in it. Where will it end? Is it possible for the stakes to go higher still?

I will say this: such drama tends to make things a little more epic, and a little more black and white. Example: either this EP is just too much and I put it on ice for a while (sensible), or it is so very important to me that I strive still amidst the chaos (ridiculous).

Well I put some good hours in today. So while this whole thing started as a bit of fun to test whether I could actually release my own music, it is clear to me only in the battle that this means more to me than I expected. I just will not stop.

So here is a concept. A barrier sign can do a lot to hold you up, until it goes far enough that you are driven to defy it. Then it is just a piece of writing. Once you do defy, things get simpler, because there is then no doubt that the conflict is real, and the battle is on. The conflict is real, and the battle is on.

I can’t lie: it feels ridiculous, but it also feels beautifully simple.